Orange wind-up

baby talk
Orange view of our IQ

Phone company Orange is to unveil a mobile phone charger “prototype” powered by wind energy at the Glastonbury Festival. But experts are already saying the new charger is nothing but a cynical PR stunt, since it is far more efficient to use another sort of “wind” power as in “wind-up. ” Hand cranked phone chargers are highly efficient and use less embodied energy to achieve the same effect AND they work on windless days, indoors, etc.

The mobile firm says the new charger is the result of months of research into a viable alternate energy source to power handsets during summer music festivals. Do they think we are that stupid? Yes. Its no surprise Glastonbury co-operated with this charade. The Glastonbury Festival long since lost any claims to moral credibility.

And Prof Shashank Priya of the University of Texas at Arlington has lost all academic credibility by playiung along with this charade. Orange say they commissioned his “research” into an off-grid wind-powered portable phone charger that would “take into account the unpredictable English climate to ensure a constant energy source.” Why do PR companies make up this balderdash?

While the research of Prof Priya’s team is said to be “still in its infancy” and continues to be developed before mass consumer rollout, Orange has built a fully functioning models of a mobile wind charger that will be on display at this year’s Glastonbury Festival, which takes place at Worthy Farm in Pilton, Somerset starting this Friday.

The wind turbine, weighing in at only 150grams, is small enough to fit into a weekend rucksack and is “easily mounted onto festival goers’ tents using a simple mounting bracket.” (Because of course festival goers are too stupid for a complicated mounting bracket)

While festival revellers are out during the day taking in their favourite bands, the turbine stores wind generated power in the control box, ready for when they return to their tent each night to recharge their phone.

Orange claims that mobiles phones are just as important as wellies in terms of festival survival essentials, especially one as big as Glastonbury.

Hattie Evans, head of sponsorship at Orange, said “As main sponsor, it is important that we continue to innovate and demonstrate how mobile technology can make festival life a little bit easier, whilst respecting Glastonbury’s commitment to being environmentally aware.”

Festival-goers at this year’s Glastonbury Festival will also be asked to sign up to the “I Count” climate change campaign, which encourages people to think about reducing their carbon footprint. If you take the “O” out of Count you get a better idea of Orange, and I Count and all the others involved in the fashionable sport of Greenwash.

The campaign is supported by the Stop Climate Chaos coalition of over 50 organisations, as well as the three main causes supported by Glastonbury – Oxfam, Greenpeace and W aterAid.

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