Well, I’m back and ready to reply to Truthseeker. When I first read your message, my response was to try to defend against what you said about religion, I will say that after thinking about it and praying about it, it is clear that you have had some sort of (or perhaps lots of) bad or negative experiences with organized religion, and for that I am truly sorry. I too had trouble with religion, and to that I will say that religion is how “man” messed up the relationship with God, fortunately that is something I got past, yes I have deep faith and a wondrous and wonderful relationship with my Savior. Perhaps it’s easier for me because I have experienced death and I KNOW there is more after this body is gone, when I pass from this life I want to go back to that wonderful place so full of peace and love. I have experienced pain and suffering, I just don’t allow the negatives to define who I am or where I am going, the hard times made me a stronger person, as hard as things were for me, I wouldn’t change a thing, I happily stand here with a smile on my face with all the bumps and bruises that go with it (life).
I sincerely wish you would disregard what the world has done and is doing to your faith and turn back to God, things here on earth are not perfect, and for now, will not be, but this life here on earth isn’t what is important, it’s eternity that is, and the day will come, sooner or later when you will be standing before your Maker and you will answer for yourself. This is simple, accept the free gift that is Jesus, or don’t, it’s completely your choice and your responsibility, if you are reading this, then you have no one to blame for making the wrong choice but yourself.
I generally keep my personal beliefs to myself (though I’m getting better at being able to spread the good news), that is until someone says that I need to shoot myself in the face for my beliefs 
You are clearly angry, or at the very least unhappy, it comes through loud and clear in the words you chose to write above, you have the choice to continue living in that state, or you can choose to be free, free from anger, free from the big rock that is weighing you down, I sincerely hope you make the right choice, it is your choice to make, your responsibility.
Wretha