Today is traditionally the day when men are supposed to show their love and affection for their women by buying flowers, chocolates and cards, then there is the obligatory dinner, if you have more money to spend, maybe a splurging on a bit of bling for your woman… All month, the world has been filled with red hearts and cherubim flying around shooting heart shaped arrows, all the commercials on the TV and radio has been trying to make men feel guilty if they do not do the traditional things that are supposed to be done by today to make the woman in their life feel complete.
BLAH I say! I had a discussion with PB today about this very subject, I don’t understand why some women feel so giddy when their man spends half a C note or more on a dozen roses and a box of chocolates, in a week the flowers will be turning brown, the chocolate will be on its way to adding inches where they aren’t wanted, then you have to toss the refuse in the trash. I say, if you are going to spend money like this, why not spend it on something that is really useful?
Honestly, if you are only showing your appreciation to your special partner only one day a year or a few special days a year, then you have problems that a dozen roses and a box of chocolate will not fix.
In part one to this article https://off-grid.net/2010/07/07/relationship-part-1/, I discussed about improving your relationship with your loved one. This time I’ll discuss living off-grid in tight quarters and privacy, or lack of privacy.
PB and I live in a very small cabin, we lovingly refer to it as our sky castle. In the beginning it was one room, 16×16, everything and I do mean everything happened in that one small room. It was our bedroom, our kitchen, our dining room, our office and our bathroom. There was no real privacy going on in there, that meant everything that one of us did, the other one could see it. That included using the toilet, we have a Joseph Jenkins Humanure style toilet
So ladies, how comfortable are you with using the toilet in front of your man? I know for me it’s not a problem now, but the first few years we were together, I was toilet shy, I preferred a closed door between what I was doing and my man. For you guys, I have found that most guys are not shy about bodily functions in front of your mate, but for us women, it tends to be a different story.
For the ladies, if you are planning on moving to a remote off-grid place, you might have to get used to doing more things, more private things in front of your mate, I think you’ll find that your man will not care about noises and odors as much as you think they will. I have to say that now, I have no problem pulling our humanure toilet out and placing it next to the wood stove and doing my business while carrying on a conversation with PB in the same room, right now it’s cold anywhere but next to the wood stove so I’d rather be there and warm than in the next room freezing but with more privacy. It’s all a matter of getting used to your partner and not being embarrassed about normal, natural things we all do. Isn’t this quite the Valentine subject??? LOL!
There are lots of ways of giving privacy without having to leave the room, one major way is to not look over at your partner when they are doing something that is normally done in private. Giving your partner some alone time is also a good thing. That’s one thing that PB does for me quite often, he is outside working on things, or at the neighbor’s house, giving me the “me time” I need to do whatever I want or need to do. Since I’m gone from the house 4 or more days a week for several house a day, he has plenty of “me time” alone in the sky castle. For us this works perfectly, you will have to figure out what works best for you and your mate.
I mentioned earlier that flowers and chocolates don’t do it for me, so what thrills me instead? I have to say my PB built the sky castle for us, this week he has been working on a new set of shelves for the dishes, a few months ago I was wanting a proper couch to sit on, so he built one for me. Those are the things that thrill me to no end and give me a Valentines feeling everyday. Oh and lest I forget, he drew a personalized Valentine’s card for me and put it on my laptop, that meant more to me than any commercial card he could have spent money on. :)
6 Responses
I total agree with you about V day. I think its so silly to have this one set day to show your love buying expensive flowers that will die with in a week. Then going out to eat at a over crowed expensive restaurant. On bday my hubbub and I relax with our three kids well most other people run around like chickens with there heads cut off trying to impress there loves. I do always get my kids each a little something. I’m a sucker when it comes to them. In my experience living in a small space can also do wonders for a family. Two years ago my family pretty much became homeless due to a bunch of bad events happening all at once. Luckily a good family friend of ours took us in. Due to his lack of space my family of five had to live in there living room. I will say that I’m very grateful for going through that because it saved my family. All we had was each other. We became very close and it forced my husband and I to work out problems we had. Now I feel like we can make it through anything as long as we are together. We lived like that for about seven months. Due to space all we had with us were our basic things we needed, so we also got use to not having all the material possession. It was nice to get all of our thing out of storage when we found a place, but its good to know we really don’t need all the exter junk to live. Because of what we went through I have a different out look on life. My outlook was changed for the better.
I’m totally with you on the gifts thing. Long before moving off-grid in a tiny house, I could never understand how much my girlfriends relished in getting expensive jewelry and such.
I do like to celebrate life’s special occasions but I make it about having a new experience than a material possession. I wrote about it around Christmas time.
https://tinyhouseontheprairie.net/2012/12/13/you-are-enough/
I just discovered this website and am enjoying it very much. My 4 yr old and I are becoming more earth friendly and economy aware. We are making small changes for now but off the grid or an Eco house may be in our future. I’d at least like to be more self reliant. I liked your post very much. Though I like flowers and chocolate you are right. They are not sentimental and don’t last. I like gifts that come from the heart big or small those are the ones I cherish most. For my daughters 4th birthday this last agugust I have her a small patio container garden. It had been a joy and will provide years of fond memories and hopefully years of gardening practice and education. And her garden will flourish with her age. Ordinarily I go all out on shopping sprees but we’ve come to a more earth friendly perspective with holidays and special occasions.
Awhhh gee…Thanks. :) PB is one lucky guy too.
I had to giggle at this post. So much of what you wrote rang true for this house (except for the bathroom thing). LOL
The only time flowers are here is if they are hand picked, and jewelry, to me, is such a waste of money. I generally get a commercial card, but its always modified with his own personal words and sometimes drawings (that make the people in the card look like us). I look forward to that for every occasion and will cherish those little things as long as I live. I’m blessed with one of the good guys that understands Love is more than stuff. :)
Jackie, I’d say your man is blessed to have you, someone who wants more than just stuff :)
Wretha