Have you ever considered composting toilets and greywater recycling/reuse systems? There is alot of info here in postings and articles and also just typing it into a search engine will bring you alot of results. Some sites leave me with unanswered questions but along with this website, the others I’ve found most helpful, thorough and straightforward so far is oasisdesign.net and wikipedia.
Here are just a few links off of the very immense website that range from how to’s, legal issues to which states are visionary states or not, and much much more(there is also an email correspondense somewhere on the site that talks about issues very similar to yours but I cannot find at the moment, but you might if you look through). You should definitly be able to use composting and water recycling, if done properly, especially if you live in the country (and should save you alot of money and trouble, and you could possibly build your own far more inexpensively while being up to code (there are also educational resources on the site for that also):
a letter against septic systems/sewers to local officials: https://www.oasisdesign.net/wastewater/sewer/beach.htm
“Sewer battles in Bolinas and Monte Rio” “(a great, humorous article by Lloyd Khan)”:
“Sewer Hookup in Ontario, How to Avoid Being Forced”:
“greywater central” w/more info about greywater regulation if you scroll down:
“Common Greywater Errors and Preferred Practices”:
Wikipedia composting toilet info:
“Toronto Healthy House” info:
The Small House Society Resources For Life “mobile hermatage”
GOOD LUCK, hope some of it helps in some way!!