Unless you join a group who has land you really want to own your land. An acre and a trailer would give you a start. I’d look for land in a place that you could add to your land as money became available. Water and septic are very important. You want them to be far apart. Once you have the land and a roof over your head you can work to build anything. Lots of what you need can be found or bartered for.
Winter is a hard time to jump into off-grid living. The three of you need to sit down and make lists of what you all want and what you have and what you are willing to do without. Starting from scratch you will do without a lot. You might want to spend the winter planning, searching for the land and turning what you don’t need into cash. Study what others have done. There are lots of people on the internet who talk about how they are doing it. You may find an old farm that they are willing to give you a rent to own deal. Drive to places you might want to live. Meet the people.
The appalachian mountains are amazing. Too cold for me. I picked northern North Carolina. We have two growing seasons. Very important when you are growing your own food. It’s not too far from where you are now. I’m not off-grid yet. I’m working on my self-sustaining skills while I look for my farm. I have a half acre with two goats, a dozen chickens and 7 giant Pekin ducks. I grow a crazy amount of food. Mostly in raised beds.
I’m making a greenhouse this week out of a 10′ x 20′ steel canopy frame I got on ebay for 95.00 including shipping. I’m going for total passive heat. Which is much easier when the coldest we had last year was only 5 below. The mountains are much colder.
Many people support themselves via the internet. You have to select a place that will give you access to do that. Living near a town with a good Farmers Market is another way to make money. You will still need some money. Figure out how you are going to make it. The property taxes can not be paid in potatoes.
I’ve given you some things to think about. Emails if you have any questions. Good luck!